


I Tried So Hard, But We Killed Our Hearts

by strawlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Insecure Louis, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-24 03:43:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2566961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawlarry/pseuds/strawlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m Harry. What’s your name again?”</p><p>“Louis. You’d know that if you’d been paying attention. We’ve nearly wasted the entire class now, and we have to have our outline done by tomorrow,” Louis huffed out. Harry stared blankly at him as if asking what his point was.</p><p>“My point is, we have no time to work on it now. We’re going to have to meet up after school. We can’t go to my house because my sisters are all going to be there and if we to my house we won’t get anything done. Here’s my number, text me your address and I’ll come over whenever,” just as Louis had finished his sentence the bell rang and he dashed out of the door. So much for hospitality, Harry thought bitterly. First he moves to an entire different continent and gets lost on his first day of school, and now he’s stuck doing a project with an ignorant (admittedly an attractive ignorant) boy who seems to have no interest in interacting him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't even tell me your name, all I need to know whose place

            School in America was really no different from school in England, Harry decided. The only noticeable difference seemed to be the obvious change in country and accent. He actually started feeling a bit disappointed that his mum had moved them all the way to the states after her bitter divorce with Robin, why did they have to change continents? It seemed a bit extreme, and a tad immature, to Harry that his mum had gone to such extremes. Alas, here he was on his first day of high school and he was hopelessly, utterly lost. He had no idea where the T Hall was (I mean, really? What kind of school has five buildings and names the halls after the alphabet?), and he had approximately forty-five seconds until the bell rang and he’d be marked tardy for his last class, literature, on his first day of school. It’s not even like he cared about first impressions, he just didn’t want to draw any attention to himself by asking for directions.

            After about three minutes of being late, he finally sucked up his pride and stopped a tall, brown haired boy in the hallway. “’cuse me, mate. Have you got any idea where T41 is? ‘M completely lost,” he said. The boy stopped suddenly once he realized that the unknown boy was, in fact, talking to him. Looking at him with wide eyes, the boy began to reply. “Um. Yeah. My name’s Liam, I’ll show you where your class is. I’m assuming you’re new? No one told me we were getting an exchange student, usually they have me give the tours.” After awkwardly, impatiently waiting for the boy, Liam, to stop talking he introduced himself. “Yeah, today’s my first day. ‘M not an exchange student though, just moved here with my mum. I’m Harry,” he said, while gesturing for Liam to show him where his next class was.

            Liam seemed really kind, he quickly showed Harry where his classes was and explained to his teacher, Mr.Malik, that he was new and even told Mr.Malik that it was his fault that Harry was late and not to strike him as tardy. The teacher completely understood, and told Harry to go sit in the only empty seat in the classroom as he spoke with Liam in the hallway about why he was late. After a few minutes, Mr.Malik returned and announced that they had a new student, and that everyone was expected to give him a warm welcome. Thankfully, he didn’t dwell on making Harry introduce himself and got right on with the lesson. As it turned out, they were going to be put with partners for an assignment that would count as two test grades and would be their semester project. Each student pulled a topic out of a bucket, and whoever had the same topic would be their partner. Everyone quickly began gathering up and figuring out who they would be working with for the next couple of weeks. Eventually, everyone was all paired up except for Harry and a boy standing at the front of the room talking to Mr.Malik. Harry watched as they had a hushed conversation that ended with the teacher shaking his head and pointing to Harry.

            The student who was talking to Mr.Malik seemed upset, like he had lost an argument, and sluggishly began making his way towards Harry’s desk. “Well, I guess you’re my partner. I’m Louis,” the boy had said when he stopped at his desk. Harry hadn’t even processed what he had said, he was enticed with the boys thin, pink lips and piercing blue eyes. He quickly gave the boy a once-over, immediately noticing how curvy and feminine his body was. After a few seconds he heard an obvious fake cough and looked up at the boys face. “Were you even listening to me? What’s your name,” he asked, clearly annoyed and uncomfortable. Mesmerized by the boys looks and high pitched voice Harry quietly answered, “I’m Harry. What’s your name again?”

“Louis. You’d know that if you’d been paying attention. We’ve nearly wasted the entire class now, and we have to have our outline done by tomorrow,” Louis huffed out. Harry stared blankly at him as if asking what his point was.

“My point is, we have no time to work on it now. We’re going to have to meet up after school. We can’t go to my house because my sisters are all going to be there and if we to my house we won’t get anything done. Here’s my number, text me your address and I’ll come over whenever,” just as Louis had finished his sentence the bell rang and he dashed out of the door. So much for hospitality, Harry thought bitterly. First he moves to an entire different continent and gets lost on his first day of school, and now he’s stuck doing a project with an ignorant (admittedly an attractive ignorant) boy who seems to have no interest in interacting him.

After getting home, Harry quickly changed into sweats and an odd band t-shirt before texting Louis.

 **Harry:** Hey, this is Louis right?

 **Louis:** Yes. Can I come over so we can do the project?

 **Harry:** Afraid not, my mum’ll have my head if I let anyone come over before at least my room is set up

 **Louis:** Great. How are we supposed to do the assignment.

 **Harry:** Mate, calm down. Don’t get your knickers in a twist, can’t we do it over texts?

 **Louis:** Whatever.

 **Harry:** Okay, well it’s over A Separate Peace so do you want to just do a powerpoint?

 **Louis:** I don’t care.

 **Harry:** Okayyyyyyy, so we can just do a slide for each chapter, that’s our outline.

 **Louis:** Okay.

 **Harry:** Sooo. What’s school like here in America?

 **Louis:** You’ve been to school. You already know.

 **Harry:** Are you always so, I don’t know, cold towards everyone?

 **Louis:** Trust me, you don’t want to be my friend. I’m doing you a favor.

 **Harry:** Well, I happen to quite like you. I’d like to try and be friends.

 **Harry:** Hello??

 **Harry:** Louis?

 **Harry:** Why don’t you like me? Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with you?

 **Harry:** Just answer my question and I’ll stop texting you

 **Harry:** Please, Louis

 **Louis:** Because, Harry. Nobody wants to be friends with me, no one wants to be friends with the school faggot.

 


	2. This Innocence Is Brilliant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on mobile so I'm not quite sure how to indent on AO3's website, so I'm sorry about that  
> Also, sorry that this is so short, hopefully all the chapters won't be this short.   
> Anyways, if you like it please leave kudos or comments.x

Its not even that Harry's shocked that Louis is gay, it's just that he doesn't understand how Louis would think that's a reason for Harry to not want to be friends with him. He's disgusted by the fact that louis thinks he could be that shallow, that he could isolate someone because of something out of their control. He's not dense, he knows that there are homophobic people all around the world, he just could never imagine someone being even slightly rude or harsh towards Louis. He's so delicate and small, with petite wrists and ankles but a glorious bum and thighs. He's got what seems like a soft tummy, but isn't fat. Everything about him seems absolutely perfect. He wants to know everything about Louis. He wants to know who makes him feel like he should be outcasted because he likes guys, if he gets bullied, or if he simply just can't accept the fact that he's gay and therefore beats himself up over it.It's not just that either, he wants to know his favourite songs and what he dreams about at night and how he takes his tea or if he's a coffee guy. Harry wants to know everything.

He knew that he told the smaller boy that he would not text him again once Louis told him the reason he was giving Harry the cold shoulder, but he couldnt just leave the conversation like that. He couldn't leave Louis thinking that he was right, that Harry would ignore and ridicule him because he's gay. But, the thing is, Harry didnt know what to say. It's not like he could just be like, "Oh, it's totally fine because I like cock, too!" No. He could not be that blunt.

After hours of trying to think of a subtle reply, he finally found one that he thought was suitable. It was just five words, but the five words has countless meanings. Harry simply texted back, "That'd make me a hypocrite," and powered his phone off for the night, not even waiting for a reply.

After finishing the outline for the project, figuring Louis wasn't going to do it, Harry called it a night and fell asleep around 11:45pm. He woke up at six thirty, effectively leaving him with ten minutes to get dressed, brush his teeth, and eat breakfast. He quickly threw on the first thing he found in his messy moving box full of clothes, a Beatles t-shirt and some old, ripped skinny jeans, and brushed his teeth. He ran to the refrigerator and popped four toaster strudels in the toaster, and laced up his white Converse while waiting for them to pop up. As soon as they were done cooking, he dashed out of the front door just in time to catch his bus closing it's doors. He hurriedly screamed, "STOP!" right as the bus begins to start moving. Luckily for him, the driver does stop and let him on the bus. "Thank you," he says out of breath and the driver just gives him a insignificant look. Harry skims the bus looking for an empty seat, and finally finds one. Next to Louis. The boy that seems to hate him, and the only one who knows Harry is gay. He doesnt know why he told him, he hasnt even told his closest mates or family yet. Harry shyly takes the seat beside the sleeping boy, silently thanking God that he wasn't awake.

The ride to the school was short lived, which in turn means Louis' nap was short lived. And he was now waking up very confused as to why Harry Styles was in the seat beside him. "Jesus, what the hell do you want? I don't want your pity, okay? Stop texting me. Stop trying to relate to me. Stop sitting by me," Louis angrily snapped. He was sick of people trying to get close to him just to stab him in the back days later. Harry defensively held his hand up in mock surrender, "Calm down, mate. I'm not stalking you or something, it was the only seat open, look." Louis did just that, his eyes surveyed the bus and realized that there really wasn't any open seats. His face flushed under the dim bus lights as he quietly apologized and fled off the bus.

The day seemed to drag by extremely slow, and it felt like ages had passed before Harry got to literature class. He slowly entered the classroom, relieved to see that he had made it there before the feather haired boy. He took his seat, the same one he sat in yesterday, and waited for Louis to enter the room. Not even two minutes later, he seen the smaller boy enter the room and gracefully walk to his seat beside Harry. He sat down silently, not even sparing a glace at the curly haired lad.

Once the bell had rang and the class wss in full swing, Harry figured it was best to break the ice sip they could get to work. "Look," he said, "I'm sorry about last night. It was out of line and I get that. I really do want to be your friend. I'm not pitying you, but in case you haven't noticed, no one's dying to be my friend either. We're in the same boat, Louis. If I don't want to become mates, I get that. But can we at least work on the assignment? I even finished unpacking my room so you can come over tonight..." Harry finished his speech uneasily, he was scared of how Louis would react. The blue eyed boy stared blankly for a few seconds before shrugging. "I don't care. We can head straight over to yours after the bell rings, might as well get this thing over with as soon as possible," Louis said quickly.

Fifty-five minutes and three chapters later, the clock struck four o'clock which signaled the end of the school day. The two boys moved slowly and made their way towards Harry's new house, where they would spend the next couple of weeks working on a literary project about two boys, a boarding school, and a world war.


	3. Money?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, they went from Harry pinning and Louis hating the fact that they had to spend time together to them sleeping together in the same bed. Neither boy was sure how they felt about it, but that was something to think about in the morning.

Harry and Louis worked in silence on the project, only talking when one of the boys noticed a mistake in the other one’s work. As much as Harry wanted to talk to Louis, he couldn’t bring himself to try and talk to him. He didn’t know what to say, they had nothing other than the presentation to talk about.  
Although they had three weeks to do the project, they had finished working on theirs on the fifth day due to the fact that they had worked on it every day after school. After revising a few errors here and there, the boys knew they had nothing else to do for the PowerPoint. Slowly, Louis stood.  
“Well, I guess that’s it. I guess I’ll go..,” he trailed off, as if waiting for Harry to say something.  
Harry quickly got to his feet and began stuttering, “Um. You don’t have to. Like, go. You don’t have to go.” He gave a weak smile, hoping to ease the tension.  
“Oh. Okay.” Louis sat back on Harry’s floor, resting his back against the edge of the taller lad’s bed. He looked up at Harry and smiled, no exactly sure what to do.  
Harry stay standing and looked down at the boy, confused. “Don’t you think the bed would be more comfortable?” he asked. “I mean, we don’t have to sit on the floor anymore. We could go make something to eat or order something in and watch a film. My mum won’t be home until late, and it’s a Friday so yeah.” He finished his suggestion with a blush, unsure why he was suddenly so nervous. It’s not like he had asked Louis on a date, they were just going to watch a movie. And maybe Louis would spend the night. Maybe.  
“Yeah, okay. Could we get takeout? I’ve been craving Chinese,” Louis laughed softly when he stumbled trying to stand up, “I can pay.” He looked up at Harry, who was surprisingly already looking back at him.  
“There’s no way you’re paying Lou, you’re my guest.” Harry flushed at the nickname, were he and Louis on nickname terms?  
“Lou? Only my mom and sisters call me Lou,” Louis stated. Harry shrugged, blushing down at the floor. He walked over to his bedroom door and told Louis he would be back in a few minutes after he found the takeout menus. Louis nodded even though Harry dashed out of the door before he could even respond.  
After a few second, Louis began looking around Harry’s bedroom. He never really gave the larger boy’s room much thought, but now that he took the time to take it in, it was actually quite nice. The walls were covered with various posters. Louis recognized most of the band names, but a few he never heard of. They must be the indie bands that Harry always insisted on playing while they were working. He looked at all the scattered things around the room, laughing at the dirty clothes across the floor. You’d think that you’d clean your room if you knew you’d be having company over, but Harry seemed not to care. Somehow, Louis found that endearing.  
There was stuffed piled all over Harry’s dresser, mostly hygiene items like his brush, deodorant, and cologne. Quietly walking over to the dresser, Louis began looking through the rubbish that covered the piece of wooden furniture. He found multiple guitar picks, gum wrappers, and even a few pounds, presumably from when he lived in England. He was examining the weird money when suddenly the bedroom door swung open.  
“What are you doing?” Harry asked curiously.  
“I. Umm. Money?” Louis flushed deep red and held up the object mentioned. Harry laughed and nodded his head.  
“Yeah, do you want it? I’ve got a bunch that I forgot to exchange for American currency at the airport. It’s not like I can spend it here, ya know? No point in having them, but I’m sure the boys will be ready to jump your bones if you show them that.” Harry winked.  
Laughing, Louis thanked Harry for the money and put it in his wallet. It’s probably a little odd that the only money he has is for another country, but he can’t bring himself to care. The money was cool and a lot different from American dollars, plus it was from Harry. Not that he likes it because it’s from Harry, not at all.  
After their food arrived, they flopped down on the small couch in Harry’s living room. It was nice, being at Harry’s house. I was a lot more relaxing than being in his own home, due to the many little kids running around all the time. Eventually, after a bit of arguing, they agreed on a movie to watch. The Notebook. Louis had never seen the movie, and Harry had said it was one of his favourite and it was a must-see. So here they were.  
The movie was painfully cliché and boring. It took only twenty minutes for Louis to give up watching it and being playing Subway Surfer on his iPhone. Occasionally he would look at the other boy, but only to make sure he hadn’t noticed that Louis was on his phone. Not because he liked to look at the curly haired, green eyed boy. He didn’t want to get caught ignoring the movie, that’s why.  
After two torturous hours and a few tears from Harry, the movie was finally over. Harry silently got up and turned off the tv and checked the time. 23:14. He went to the kitchen and got the two some drinks and some crisps, quickly returning to the living room.  
“Are you staying the night? It’s kind of dark to be walking home. You can take my bed, I’ll take the couch. Or the floor in my room if you don’t want to stay in there alone.”  
“We can like, share the bed. I mean, it’s your house. You don’t have to give up your bed for me,” Louis smiled up at the standing boy, hoping that he hadn’t made things awkward by offering that they share the bed.  
“Oh. Okay, yeah I’ll go find us some pants and a shirt to wear, wait here.” Harry ran up the stair to search for something for them both to wear, returning about three minutes later with some sweatpants and old t-shirts to wear.  
“You can change in my room, I’ll change in the bathroom,” Harry said quietly as they were walking up the stairs.  
After both boys were changed, they agreed that Louis would take the wall and Harry would take the outside. Quietly, the crawled into bed and Harry shut off the lamp beside his bed.  
Somehow, they went from Harry pinning and Louis hating the fact that they had to spend time together to them sleeping together in the same bed. Neither boy was sure how they felt about it, but that was something to think about in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm really bad at endings


	4. Sophomore Year

The first thing that Louis noticed when he woke up was that he was warm. He quickly tried to sit up, only to be held down by something. The second thing that he noticed was that this was not his house. This was Harry’s bedroom. The third thing he realized was that he was in bed with Harry.  


Louis quickly detangled himself from the other boy and changed back into his own clothes. Quietly, he left the house and ran home. How could he be so stupid, Harry didn’t want to be his friend. Harry was only trying to be nice, he didn’t understand why Louis didn’t have any friends. He didn’t understand that he didn’t want any friends, not after what happened with Aiden.  


He spent the rest of the day watching the girls and making them various things to eat due to the fact that he wasn’t capable of making them an actual meal. The last time he tried to make them a real dinner, if you consider chicken nuggets dinner, the smoke alarm when off and they had to spend an hour and a half outside until the house was cleared of smoke. After the girls’ hunger was satisfied, they watched Sherlock. Louis loved the show, but the only reason that the girls tolerated it was because Benedict is fit. Which really, they are Tomlinsons. The Tomlinsons knew how to appreciate male beauty when they seen it.  


After they were all in bed and asleep, Louis decided to take a hot bath. The past week had been a lot more eventful than he was expecting, which isn’t surprising due to the fact that he thought he was just going to watch shitty tv all week. He set his phone on the toilet and turned on his Lana Del Rey and The 1975 playlist while he poured bubbles into the tub. After it was filled three-fourths of the way with steaming water, he submerged himself with the warmth.  


Louis was in the bath for less than five minutes when he heard his phone vibrate from on top of the toilet. He briefly considered ignoring it in favor of relaxing, but decided against it in case it was his mom. He slowly stretched and rose from the warm water, effectively grabbing his phone without stepping out of the tub. Unlocking it, he was shocked to see that it wasn’t his mom. It was Harry.  


**Harry.:** Hey mate, just making sure everything’s alright, didn’t expect you to leave me so suddenly without even saying bye .xx  


Sighing, Louis thought of a response. Unsure was what to say, he settled on a vague yet straight-forward response.  


**Louis:** It was a mistake Harry. The project is done, please delete my number.  


Harry, surprisingly, didn’t text back immediately. Deciding that for once the other boy had listened to him, Louis lied back down and let the now lukewarm water cascade over his shoulders and chest. After washing his hair and draining the water, Louis dried off and retreated to his bedroom to do his math homework and then, hopefully, sleep. He only got done with two questions before his phone was vibrating.  


**Harry.:** Sorry, had to help my mum with something. What was a mistake? I’m not going to delete your number, we’re friends. Aren’t we? I mean, we had fun last night.  


**Louis:** We’re not friends. You don’t have to act like you had fun last night, I get that I’m not much fun. You don’t have to pity me. Being friendless is my choice, I like it better this way.  


**Harry.:** Why though? I just want to get to know you Lou  


Louis laughed bitterly, no one wanted to get to know him. Not after everyone found out he liked guys instead of girls. Only one person tried to ‘get to know’ him after he came out, and everyone knows how that ended.  


**Louis:** You know Niall Horan, right? Ask him about sophomore year.  


**Harry.:** Why do I have to ask him, you tell me  


**Louis:** Goodbye, Harry.  


The shorter boy turned off his phone and placed it on his nightstand, effectively ending the conversation. There were a million thoughts running through his head, he didn’t get why Harry was so persistent. Louis didn’t need friends, he was perfectly fine with spending his time at home and watching his sisters. Why can’t harry just accept that?  


The next few days were a blur of school, awkward glances from across the room, and loud little sisters. The boys got an A on their presentation, as predicted, and Harry hadn’t even tried to talk to Louis.  


Louis had an art project due at the end of the week, so he had no time to think about Harry or the fact that every time that he seemed to look up there were green eyes looking at him. He had less than a full week to do a self-portrait of himself, and he wasn’t able to buy the canvas until Thursday, which left him with a day and a half to do a complete self-portrait. He didn’t have any spare time to spend with his sisters that week, let alone think about Harry.  


Louis was sitting on his bed listening to Taylor Swift’s new album and putting the finishing touches on his self-portrait when his phone vibrated, notifying him that he received a text. Louis picked up his phone and opened the text, surprised that it was Harry.  


**Harry.:** Niall told me about Aiden. I’m sorry Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short, I have a ton of school work to do but I'll be able to write more next week because I'll have fall break from school. It'd be super cool if someone could be a beta or help write this fic because my psych class is killing me with school work and I don't have time to brainstorm ideas, let alone write/beta this  
> Regardless, I hope you enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going to continue this, most likely. If someone actually wants me to , I will but I'll feel awkward writing something without knowing if people actually enjoy it


End file.
